Nowadays, to be one of the cool kids you have to be dead inside. Feelings, especially the big ones, are sooo not done. And showing them is social suicide.
One of the big contradictions of our time: we’re all supposed to be balanced and Zen 24/7, while very few of us actually are. Maybe the Dalai Lama, and even then I’m not sure.
Never shout, never get angry. The problem is that in life, you’re bound to come across things that make you upset or frustrated. Just because you’re not supposed to express those feelings, doesn’t mean you instantly stop feeling them.
We like to believe we’re completely in charge of our life and emotions, but that’s complete nonsense. Try sleeping with a crying baby in the other room, or staying cool & collected when your dear colleague can’t shut up for one second (ah, open work space). I can guarantee that even thinking of your happy place, a beautiful meadow or a calm sea breeze won’t slow down your heart rate. And so – o joy! – since you’re not supposed to feel these feelings, when you do (because you’re a human being), you have to hide them.
Suppression always works swell.
You feel bad about natural behavior, and isolated since you’re not supposed to express yourself.
This whole debacle leaves you with only one solution: secret pill popping. Because talking about how you feel? What nonsense! Psychiatrists are for pussies!
I on the other hand, am all for expression. Get angry. Get frustrated and show it. These sensations are life’s way to tell you something is not going the way it should, and expressing how you feel is a first step towards much-needed change.
I much prefer being around people who express themselves, even badly, than to be around those who constantly hide everything and could have secretly been planning world domination for years all the while appearing to be reserved & sweet.
At least when it’s out, it’s out. Can be very therapeutic.
You can’t expect people to know how you feel if you have made hiding it into an art form. It would be nice if we respected the expressers just as much as the non-expressers, and not grow deaf the moment we hear emotion in someone’s voice.
“Jeez, he seems frustrated therefore I don’t have to listen to anything he has to say.”
“O my God why is she getting so angry, she must be hysteric or something, let’s lock her up!”
Women, I dare say, maybe even have it harder. Women expressing emotions such as frustration and anger are often treated with the same disrespect as women who flaunt their sexuality. You’re dressed in a sexy way, therefore what comes out of your mouth doesn’t matter.
You’re raising your voice, therefore you are a lunatic.
While in a man, emotions such as anger and frustration are sometimes seen as a sign of leadership and virility.
We’re not supposed to sit by and watch injustice and inequality without having any feelings or opinions about it. We’re supposed to get mad, get up and do something about it. Use that energy for a positive change.
If we’re all just fine with whatever, no one will do anything to stop your once reserved colleague to become the next great dictator. And believe me, no one wants to see that happening.